Prayer for People in Abusive Relationships

Today I would like to pray for those of you who are trapped in a situation where you are being physically or emotionally abused. Many of us have been in a dysfunctional relationship, but not all of us have had the means, the courage, or the opportunity to get out from under oppression. No two stories are the same, so I cannot offer a blanket piece of advice that covers every situation–but I can pray for you and with you. Although I am not in abusive relationship, I am going to pray “we” with you as if I actually were…because at one point in my life, I did go through a very personal situation that causes me to feel empathy for those who are hurting. I cannot tell you what you MUST do, because that is a very personal choice relative to what your individual situation might warrant; but I will not encourage anyone to remain where you are in danger.

Heavenly Father, I come to You today with and on behalf of friends who may be in a bad situation, who feel there is no way out. However that relationship came to be, they are in a relationship with, or sharing common space with a person wrathful person, given to anger, and feel they are entangled in a snare. Lord, if we ignored Your voice and wound up in that relationship as a result of overriding Your “still small voice,” we repent and ask Your forgiveness. Some of us wandered into temptation and our emotions were louder than the warning signs. We ask You to step in and deliver us from evil, and we know it is not Your will for us to remain in ensnared! You always hear your children when we cry!

Father, while we can exert no power over another person’s will, we ask You for divine wisdom on how to handle our particular situation. As much as possible, please grant us favor with the abuser, so that if a breaking away is to be gotten, we can do so without harassment, stalking, manipulation, or endangerment. We cling to Proverbs 16:7 which says that when our ways please You, You make even our enemies to be at peace with us. We trust You to cause that to take place in however way You wish!

We humble ourselves before You and determine to act blamelessly, with integrity. We will not seek revenge, we will not try to air our dirty laundry publicly and become a drama show for others, even if we have the opportunity or feel entitled to do a tell-all. There will come an appropriate time and setting for transparency but we will rely on Your leading instead of others encouraging us to weaponize our story. We are going to position ourselves to where we can forgive and release those who have used, abused, and persecuted us. To do that, we must keep ourselves unspotted by hatred and vitriol. We can even act obtain justice in a right way, and if we have to testify in court, we will be truthful but not spiteful. There may be some things we need to share with a therapist, pastor, or law enforcement that should remain on a need-to-know basis. And if there are children involved, we will not use them as leverage for revenge. We will not cultivate hatred or fear in their hearts, and we will keep them protected; but cautious about speaking in front of them about matters they may not be emotionally mature enough to handle.

Father, we ask You to deliver us not just from present evil, but we ask for spiritual deliverance from any foul oppressive spirit that would entice us into a repeat pattern of alliance with abusive people. Your will is not for us to go from one abusive relationship to another. Deliver us from codependency and a need to remain abused in an attempt to “fix” people who are dangerous, even if we have compassion for them. Deliver us from attraction to personality types that foster violence, physical/emotional/sexual cruelty, bullying, gaslighting or other abusive behavior.

If there are behavior issues on our part, reveal what needs to change through Your Word; help us to own responsibility for our own actions and words, and help us to grow in grace and character. We can acknowledge our need for personal growth or change without absolving others of bad actions…so admitting where we need help is not accepting blame for being abused! Help us not to be enablers of abuse, and help us to break generational patterns of abuse. Help us not to, having been abused, become abusers ourselves. And Father, make us brave. Give us courage to make hard decisions, especially if we are making them to protect not only ourselves, but also children or elderly from danger. Help us to walk away from someone we still have feelings for, if we know that person is abusing our children in any way! It’s not ok…nor is it ok for us to take abuse “as long as he/she doesn’t hurt the children.” We must protect those who cannot protect themselves, even if it means changing environments for their sake.

Finally, Father, we receive healing of emotional scars. We may have had the temporary status of victim, but we refuse to adopt that as our permanent identity. As we release that person into Your hands, we trust You for Your perfect balance of Justice and mercy. Please convict that person of his/her sins and we pray for repentance and salvation if that person will. We do not wish for eternal damnation for anyone, not even those who have hurt us, but we also know that You are a just God who can bring a fair and acceptable resolution. In Jesus’ name we will emerge as victors and with our emotional, spiritual, and physical health intact. We ask for Your help and we will obey You!

Hasty Conclusions Lead to Offense

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What a shame—yes, how stupid!—to decide before knowing the facts! — Proverbs 18:13 TLB

Among the traps of offense in which the devil tries to snare us is the trap of drawing hasty conclusions…assuming what someone else thinks or doesn’t think; or assuming what a person’s attitude or intentions are, when we aren’t even face to face with him or her. We put much faith in our ability to read into body language, or worse, discerning the climate in which written words were penned. Is it really what we think it is? And now we live in the day of text messages, emails, and such…more ways to misunderstand and draw wrong conclusions. I’ve had to learn many hard lessons about forming hasty opinions over the years, and sometimes I need a refresher course! Why, in the book of Joshua, the children of Israel nearly went to war over a false assumption of someone else’s intentions behind an action! How many times have I almost “gone to war” without discerning truth?

The enemy of your soul will have you convinced that someone is against you who really isn’t! He will tell you that the person thinks something which couldn’t be further from the truth…or that his or her actions or inactions are out of spite, disrespect, lack of love, unconcern, or with ulterior motives. Many times the devil has duped me into thinking this or that person didn’t like me or was mad at me! And what a blessing it was, those times when the ice got broken, and I felt so foolish when I found that I was completely wrong! This old gal has had to repent a time or three for having a completely wrong perception of someone!

When you are very close to advancing to a new level, don’t be surprised if Satan throws a grand opportunity in front of you to get angry, offended, to burn bridges, or just to allow a root of bitterness or resentment to spring up toward someone in your circle. Be it a peer or someone under whose authority you serve, guard your heart with all diligence against offense. Recognize that what feels like a reasonable assumption may be a diversion that sets you off course from where God wants you to be heading! Don’t be quick to jump to conclusions, especially where your feelings are concerned—our feelings can play tricks on us! The devil can’t touch our spirit man but he sometimes has a field day with our mind, will, and emotions!

Remember all the times others have assumed wrong things about you, and how unfair it felt to be the target of false perception, if you’re ever tempted to assume the worst about someone else. People are prone to fail us; not so much intentionally, but because they’re human, they’re not God! We all get distracted, we forget, we miss things, we get tunnel vision, we run out of time, our priorities get out of balance, we sometimes say things that can be taken more than one way…and we don’t always know when someone else perceives we have done something wrong. Likewise, a good bit of the time, others may have no clue when they have done something to rub US the wrong way!

And in all this…we never REALLY know what kind of very private storm another person may be going through—stress, relationship problems, loss of a loved one, financial lack, insecurity, sleep deprivation, depression, anxiety, a health scare, a son or daughter in trouble…or just too much stuff all at once. Let’s go a little easier on one another.

Lord, when I’m about to draw a hasty conclusion in error, correct me and help still my agitated spirit! Don’t let me be disqualified from passing an important test, over being caught up in wrong assumptions and opinions formed out of context! I will place a demand on my maturity as it relates to knee-jerk reactions, because self-control is a fruit of the Spirit! I commit to take time to learn the truth on situations that would violate my peace, instead of letting my imagination and feelings rule me—and even if truth turns out to be ugly, help me extend the same kind of mercy that You daily extend to me! Help me keep my eyes on you and walking safely away from snares of offense!

Permission to Be Healed

Repeat after me: “Lord, I am Your child, Your cherished creation. You don’t see me as a victim, an orphan, an outcast, marginalized, a less-than. I refuse to see myself as anything You don’t sanction! If You don’t believe it about me, Father, it’s a lie!”

The wrong voices speaking into your life will have you so messed up, you can’t believe anything good about yourself or for that matter, about other people. The enemy of your soul knows that if you can’t believe anything good about yourself, you’ll always question the goodness of your Creator.

I love Psalm 1 for many reasons, and this is one of them. It says we are blessed if we don’t walk in the counsel of ungodly people, we don’t stand in the way of sinners, we don’t sit in the seat of the scornful; but instead we make the Word of God our focus, our counsel, our example, and the influencer of our heart attitudes. Nowadays, we tend to take our life advice from some pretty unhealthy sources–tv talk shows, social media, magazines, even our peers. They’ll convince us that we are broken and just don’t know it yet…and that we’ll be forever defined by what broke us. They’ll condition us to stay skeptical, cynical, vindictive, at odds (even enemies) with anyone who disagrees with us; not just demanding a resolution, but also the right to keep the sore open and oozing with no healing in the future–because if it’s ever healed, it no longer gets to remain our identity. Sound familiar? Turn on the tv or look on your newsfeed…drama that promises to never come to an end.

And the enemy laughs and claps. He keeps us bound and everyone around us pulled into the bondage. God help us, our society has become addicted to it.

If you are compelled to believe that you are forever broken, you’ll never even try to rise above that state. You may even fight to keep that identity of brokenness because it has become the comfortable norm: broken us becomes the only us we recognize. All of us have something in our history that could be used as a measuring stick to what lies in our future. All of us have some tipping point event that could have ruined us, but for the grace of God. Maybe it’s divorce, maybe childhood abuse/neglect, poverty, tragedy, generational curses, a false accusation, maybe a bully, a betrayal, a discrimination, or some unfair outcome from choices other people made that left you or me at a gross disadvantage. Other milestones may be the unthinkably stupid, selfish, or wrong choices that we ourselves have made, which took us down paths we now regret. Truthfully, I have both kinds of situations in my history and you probably do too. Oh the stories I could tell…except, that’s not who I am anymore. Neither the devil nor anyone else gets the distinction of having ruined me. Gee, that felt good. I think I’ll go stand in front of the mirror and say that again:

NEITHER THE DEVIL NOR ANYONE ELSE GETS THE DISTINCTION OF HAVING RUINED ME.

Yesterday is gone, my friend. It’s time to let it be in the tomb of time. God’s mercies are new every morning. You woke up today with a chance for better than yesterday. A chance to grow, to heal, to change. Don’t resist being restored just because it feels more familiar to remain broken! Don’t allow the devil to keep you bound to an identity that God hasn’t given you. You may have been a temporary victim but don’t ever allow yourself to have that identity permanently etched on your soul…not because you got so hardened that no one could ever hurt you again, but because you refused to surrender your joy to a devil or a person or a culture or an event on your timeline.

I’ve shared before about a dream I once had where I was in a corridor with two doors on either side. I had my hand on one doorknob and was trying to reach out and grasp the other doorknob, but my arms weren’t long enough to lay hold of both. I knew when I woke up, God was showing me that I needed to move forward on a matter but I was still holding on to where I’d come from. And the truth is, as long as I viewed it easier or more advantageous to stay stuck in an endless loop of my hurts and disappointments, I’d never be free to be…free.

The good news in Psalm 1 is the flipside. When we pull away from bad counsel, bad company, and bad mindsets, we become like flourishing trees growing right on the river bank. Notice it sometime–trees by the river or a constant water supply are the first to bloom in spring and some of the last to fade in the autumn. I want to have lasting fruitfulness, and I’m sure you do too. My tree bark may have a few scars on it but I’m thankful that they’re testimony of God’s faithfulness to help me bounce back again and again, and not just a story with a tragic end.

May you be healed today. Receive healing. May you be whole today. Wholeness means restoration back to like-new condition, as if you were never afflicted or injured! May all of you reading this be The Comeback Kid. Let’s aim for not just healing, but also wholeness in spirit, soul, and body. When the devil tries to drag you back into the quagmire, stand your ground and say, “In Jesus’ name, that’s not who I am! That door is closed! The past no longer gets a say in my future…I am a child of God!

A RESTORATION WORD FOR BELIEVERS WITH A BROKEN, INCOMPLETE PAST

This is a word I believe the Lord has given me for those who have in recent months or years come to the Lord from a hard past, who don’t know quite where you/they fit in. I know people who’ve come out of prison, rehab, the streets, broken homes, etc., who don’t yet feel as if they are whole, nor do they yet feel like “equals” with their adult brothers and sisters in Christ who come from a healthier background:

“I am filling in the gaps for you by restoring wholeness to your inner person. The years that the cankerworm ate by drugs, dysfunctional families, destructive habits and behaviors, physical, emotional, or sexual abuse are in the past; but though they cannot be added back into your life, I will make you as whole as if those years weren’t missing from your early life. Right now you may be in your 30s, 40s, 50s, a little younger or older but you feel as if you fit in more with children and teenagers than with adults; it’s because you have awakened after a long time in darkness. It may feel a little harder to relate to many others your age because your path is just now merging with theirs.

You are going to be okay. If you will lean into Me and let me grow you, I can bring you up to speed to where you feel more like you belong, even among other adults who’ve had healthy experiences that you missed out on when your life purpose took a detour. I am situating people in your present and future, if you’ll let Me, who will mentor you and help you mature and catch up. I will teach you life skills and how to become responsible and stable. I will grant you opportunities to earn respect and develop confidence. You will defy the odds, and you will be a beacon of hope for others who feel there is no way they can be redeemed. Why? Because My hand is on your life. I have use for your testimony, even the painful part—and I can create a safe-enough distance between you and the pain so that you can share a victory story without being drawn back into depression and despair. Don’t be ashamed and don’t be afraid to ask questions.

Trust me on the days you feel like a failure and stay humble when doors begin to open for you. Be quick to repent of habits, actions, mindsets that need to be changed or forsaken. Be quick to forgive when people let you down or misunderstand you, and that includes forgiving yourself. Release the regret of yesterday. You have today and the remaining days of your life, and My mercies are new every morning. Work with the present and I will heal what’s missing or broken from your past—I will repair the cracks and smooth out the wrinkles. I love you and yes, I value you—just as much as those who’ve never been where you came out of. You are not a less-than, you are a more-than conquerer. Just wait and see how I will make your story amazing and glorious!”

Clear to the Finish

Don’t let the excitement of youth cause you to forget your Creator. Honor him in your youth before you grow old and say, “Life is not pleasant anymore.” Remember him before the light of the sun, moon, and stars is dim to your old eyes, and rain clouds continually darken your sky. Remember him before your legs—the guards of your house—start to tremble; and before your shoulders—the strong men—stoop. Remember him before your teeth—your few remaining servants—stop grinding; and before your eyes—the women looking through the windows—see dimly.

Remember him before the door to life’s opportunities is closed and the sound of work fades. Now you rise at the first chirping of the birds, but then all their sounds will grow faint.

Remember him before you become fearful of falling and worry about danger in the streets; before your hair turns white like an almond tree in bloom, and you drag along without energy like a dying grasshopper, and the caperberry no longer inspires sexual desire. Remember him before you near the grave, your everlasting home, when the mourners will weep at your funeral.

Yes, remember your Creator now while you are young, before the silver cord of life snaps and the golden bowl is broken. Don’t wait until the water jar is smashed at the spring and the pulley is broken at the well. For then the dust will return to the earth, and the spirit will return to God who gave it.

That’s the whole story. Here now is my final conclusion: Fear God and obey his commands, for this is everyone’s duty. God will judge us for everything we do, including every secret thing, whether good or bad. (Ecclesiastes 12:1-6; 13b-14 NLT)

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Finishing well…

Challenging ourselves to exceed our past victories isn’t necessarily a bad thing; at least, unless it drives us into depression or a feeling of failure when our present isn’t quite as exciting as “what used to be.” Ask most uber-successful (at least in the public’s eye) what their greatest fear is, and many will tell you something like, “I’m afraid of becoming a has-been; irrelevant; a metaphor; obsolete; on the markdown rack of the record store of life.” They’re afraid that they’ll not be able to remain suspended on the high of success, to the status of champion, the blockbuster, the well-known, the respected. A bestseller status may come with a sobering thought: “Will I ever be able to do this again, will I ever be able to break my own record? Can I still be happy even if I don’t?”

Face it, at some point in time, you will do, see, go to, taste, become, experience the greatest thing of your life. Can you be ok with life going back to normal after those singular greatest experiences, or will you constantly compare the present to the past and rob yourself of enjoyment of what’s here, right now, and what’s to come? Can you remain grateful for life even with its ups and downs, the temporary nature of success, or the awareness that those greatest moments only last for a little while? Yes, you can.

The only thing that you for sure haven’t done yet is to FINISH. We will all finish, sometime in our future. Some will arrive there sooner than others. There will be no chance to repeat or exceed that experience because a finish means no more, at least in this one short life. Maybe you cannot roll back the years and be who you once were, or do things you aren’t able to do now, but you can finish well. Even if you’re a hundred years old and on a cane. Even if no one’s still around who remembers the victory lap, the full head of hair, the trophies, the most lauded season you ever had.

You aren’t who you were then. You have grown. You develop character not because of the slam dunks, but more often from the timeouts and the losses and the time spent on the bench. Sure, it’s nice to relive in our memories, but you’ve one responsibility you haven’t yet met, whether you realize it or not–and that’s to finish and finish well.

Don’t be so focused on what no longer is that you cannot turn your attention to the present, and even more importantly, to eternity. Don’t let it prevent you from celebrating others who now are getting to experience what you may once have…because you can be the one to give them an example of how to remain happy after a pinnacle moment passes. They need you to show them how to successfully remain grateful all the way to the finish. You don’t have to live vicariously through other people in order to appreciate when they get to experience their moments–you can actually enjoy it as YOU, and then go right back to being who you are now–happy for who you were then but also happy for who you are now. Gratitude keeps time from souring us!

Lord, help us to be grateful even when life comes with disappointments or downhill paths. Help us to be thrilled when we have those unforgettable experiences, but not jaded when we discover that not every day is full of success, winning, achieving, experiencing a new personal record. If You are the source of our joy, it can’t be taken from us…whether we’re maxing out or bottoming out. You are our constant.

May we give You thanks in spite of it all–the wins, the losses, the mediocre days in-between. Thank You for all the seasons of our life and our growth from the burst of life in spring to the winding down of winter. We can remain at peace in all of it, free from the need for constant affirmation of others. May we keep You first and complete what Solomon described as the “whole duty” of a person–to reverence You and follow your commands. May our eternity be a good one because of the choices we make now–and may we inspire other people to live for You, as gratefully and as intentionally as they can, so that we all might finish well. Amen.

Today is the Beginning of Your New Year (Regardless of When You Read This)

Prayer checklist for the new year:

Something I’ve neglected that has affected me spiritually, physically, and/or emotionally. (Self examination)
Something I want to never do, to be bound by, or to have sabotaging me again. (True repentance and a desire to enable meaningful change)
Something that I once had that I’d like to have back or in a greater measure. (Awaken lost dreams, recover what was stolen, lost, or forfeited)
Something I’ve never done or never had that I want in my life. (Courage and faith to go beyond my comfort zone)
Something for which I need to forgive someone else or even myself (even if that person is no longer alive). Bonus challenge! Something for which I need to ask someone else’s forgiveness…and mean it.
Something I’ve never fully surrendered to God that I need to relinquish control over. (Purging out the secret sins, hangups, hidden shame, or simply “weights” —things that hinder me from running well)
Something I can do for others in the coming year by the grace of God. (Commitment to not be so self-absorbed)

This isn’t for you to answer publicly. It’s a time for personal reflection. God has given you this one human life and then eternity spent in one of two places. Don’t squander it…it’ll be gone like a vapor.

Don’t be stagnant in 2023. Dig in and ponder the tough stuff. Start measuring your progress in these areas regularly instead of letting the fallow ground go untilled for yet another year. Hold yourself accountable, raise the bar, and grow! By this time next year, you should see a difference in the way your life looks as you give these situations to God and choose to let good changes into your life!

Coals of Conscience

“Never hold a grudge or try to get even, but plan your life around the noblest way to benefit others. Do your best to live as everybody’s friend. Beloved, don’t be obsessed with taking revenge, but leave that to God’s righteous justice. For the Scriptures say: ‘If you don’t take justice in your own hands, I will release justice for you,’ says the Lord. And: If your enemy is hungry, buy him lunch! Win him over with kindness. For your surprising generosity will awaken his conscience, and God will reward you with favor. Never let evil defeat you, but defeat evil with good.” (Romans 12:17-21 TPT)

When I was just a kid, my parents and grandparents had coal stoves in their houses, as did pretty much everyone else in our little Appalachian neighborhood. I can remember many times watching one of the adults empty the ashes or bank a fire; so that Scripture brings back memories of my childhood and the dangers of having to dispose of those hot ashes. To this day, I still have a healthy respect for fire. Yesterday while getting dressed, I was listening to an audio version of the Passion Translation. Romans is my favorite book in the Bible, and I’m very familiar with how the King James reads; so when the narrator came to the “heaping coals of fire” passage, my heart leaped. I had to stop what I was doing and actually look at this again in print (as listed above).

Romans 12 explains how we are to handle our enemies—being kind; meeting a need they have; literally feeding them if they’re hungry. The vengeful person, who fancies this idea of an ash shovel full of glowing coals getting dumped on the head of someone he or she doesn’t like, might be a little disappointed that the Lord isn’t trying to burn those people who are not treating us as we wish. What He is aiming for is a softening of two hearts—ours toward them and theirs toward us! Who’da thunk it! We just happen to be the one He is calling on to make the first move. And how? Through kindness and goodwill and giving.

You might say, “Well that’s just the problem; I’m always on the giving end.” Truly, I don’t know each of your situations, and it would be overwhelming if I knew everyone else’s problems in detail. But I do know that there is a difference when we go into something prayerfully and strategically. Obedience pleases the Lord. And the Word says that when a person’s ways please the Lord, He will cause even that person’s enemies to be at peace with him/her!

Let’s pray.

Father, we have at any given time opportunities to have conflict with other people. It’s becoming a crazy last days world where the love of many is growing cold, just as Jesus said it would. Help us not to grow cold in our love and patience and long suffering toward others.

We commit today to You, and ask that You make us mindful of not just the drama and conflict; but also how to build a bridge of peace. Help us genuinely empathize with those we don’t get along with. Help us to have eyes to see chances to do kindnesses toward them that awaken their conscience. Lord, we don’t want to be used and taken advantage of and taken for granted, but because of the wisdom of Your Word, we extend kindness today toward even these who have gotten on our last nerve!

As an act of obedience to You, we will sow what our flesh doesn’t want to sow into someone who has wronged us. Lord it goes plumb against the grain of our carnal nature—but we are sowing with a harvest in mind! Today we deliberately release Your Holy Spirit to go to work in us. Change how we feel toward them, and change how they feel toward us! You have permission to begin the work on our side. Use our kindness to awaken their conscience. Open doors of favor that were once dead bolted against us, for Your Word even says that You will reward us when we do these things! May we represent You well today, and may we remain patient while You go to work in the seeds we have sown! We release forgiveness and blessing into the lives of those who have hurt us and mistreated us, and we do it in Jesus’ name!

(I actually wrote most of this and posted on Facebook in January 2019 but just now got around to editing and sharing it on here!)

Lacking Nothing

Patience. Are you willing to experience the “almost-but-not-quites” on your journey to your destiny? Brace yourself because there will be some! My biggest need of all, perhaps, is to let patience have her perfect work so that I can be whole and entire, lacking nothing! It’s hard not to succeed immediately. We’ve spent our entire lives watching movies where the whole plot of the story gets resolved in 90 minutes, and we want real life to work out that way too. In our fishbowl society where all eyes are on us, we are so afraid people will judge us if we can’t be a superstar at every single thing…and in record time, no less.

It’s been the ongoing challenge of my life not to rush to the finished product. Lifting the lid on the crockpot knowing good and well that a peek disrupts and makes the process even longer. Not waiting for the nail polish to dry before the next coat. Putting the furniture together without reading the instructions, only to find out I just tightened the nut down on a part that was supposed to go somewhere else. Not waiting a day or two to proofread that manuscript one final time; or better yet, to have handed it over for a second set of eyes to critique. Not waiting to hear from God on a specific request, but rather, figuring that “silence is consent” on His part. I can criticize Abraham and Sarah’s rush for the fulfilled promise all I want; but I’ve tried to get ahead of God’s plan too, thinking He surely must need my input, surely He must have gotten busy and forgotten me…I’ve done it more times than I can count.

I read somewhere once that the way to set up a peach tree for future bumper crops is to pluck off all the first year’s peaches while they’re still green and discard them. Whaaaaaaa?!!! I’d love to have a peach orchard on a big piece of property somewhere someday, but I can only imagine how hard it would be to cast off that first crop! Matter of fact, Levitical law actually requires the children of Israel to do that for the first three years…then the fourth year’s crop is sanctified holy to the Lord, then they may do as they wish with the fruit beginning with the fifth year. Interesting that even HE didn’t want the “first fruits” to be the firstfruits. Why, He even made provisions for rotating ground crops and letting the land rest. It’s little wonder that by obeying these religious laws, their land is so fertile and the produce so abundant. God always knows what He’s doing–He wrote the original Farmer’s Almanac!

What gets us in a pickle is trying to shortcut around what we know to be right. It takes faith in order to trust Him enough to count certain things as a loss in order to attain something better in the long run. It’s the test that we perhaps fail the most often. We might ask, “God, You knew how this would turn out…why did I have to waste my time going through the whole process just to walk away with nothing?” Disappointment is hard; but if we will let Him, God can build character and consistency in us when we choose to keep trying in the wake of failures. We see one scenario playing out, when in fact, He has the entire view from start to finish and has a better plan–something more than we can ask or think! Letting the process run its entire course; it’s what makes millionaires out of ordinary investors–not trying to pull out dividends as soon as they start accumulating, and not trying to sell off shares every time there’s a bear market year. Fear makes us foolish; faith makes us flourish!

Father, help us build this kind of resolve–to count the losses as mere trial runs, and to keep persevering while we wait patiently on Your plan for our lives. When we can’t believe that the invention, the song, the book, the piece of art, the business, the ministry, or whatever enterprise we’ve embarked upon did not bear a bumper crop, help us not to give up. Maybe it was a very good project that seemed foolproof, and then it flopped. Maybe, however, it was one of those first few crops that was meant to perish in order for our tree to be rooted deep and to be stronger and more consistent for many years to come.

We roll our works upon You–we commit and trust them wholly to You–and will do things Your way! We believe that, according to Proverbs 16:3, You will cause our thoughts to become agreeable to Your will. Wow! You’ll even help our thought life to align with what is going to work–Your will. When that happens, our plans shall be established and succeed! Yes, we CAN prune off what seems to promise to be a sure thing if that’s what You know will guarantee a better outcome later. We CAN rest when You say rest, knowing that obedience will take us so much farther than our best efforts to rush to a hasty quick-fix finish. Make us willing to fail in order to eventually succeed. Teach us to wait upon You, and to never give up!

Fallout Shelter

Back in days of the Cold War, “fallout shelter” became a familiar term as people grew increasingly aware of a threat of nuclear war. It wasn’t altogether uncommon for some serious preppers to build an underground bunker similar to the tornado shelters of the Heartland. I can remember, as a child, that I didn’t fully comprehend what a fallout shelter actually was; but I knew that it was protection from something ominous. The symbol on the outside of our county courthouse and other public buildings was an unsettling yet comforting reminder that if some bad thing were to happen, there was perhaps a place to run and hide.

Last night as I was brushing my teeth, I stared at the Psalm 91 print on my bathroom wall and in my mind, I recalled the fallout shelter symbols that were so commonly seen in my childhood. Although the most popular translation of Psalm 91 refers to the “secret place” of the Most High where a believer can dwell perpetually in our relationship with God, I pondered the aspect of that place of safety where the righteous might congregate when peril grips the land. We don’t really grasp what that means because in general, we haven’t felt unsafe out there rubbing shoulders with the world. We haven’t truly sold out to the idea that we’re not supposed to be absorbed into this culture; because though it shocks us from time to time, it holds the same kind of seduction that Sodom and Gomorrah held for Lot and his wife and daughters. The danger is perhaps a little exciting. We’re not genuinely repulsed, as well we should be, by the effects of sin on this world.

I’ve never had to run to a fallout shelter, nor hunker down in a reinforced space during a bad storm, and I hope I never will. Recurring nightmares of floods, wars, tornados, and disasters where I couldn’t find my family were more than enough drama without the real thing coming to pass. Yet, as I think of my most terrifying and vivid dreams, I can put that Psalm 91 shelter into perspective. Yes, it is plausible that something terrible could happen where we might have to be (if not outright hidden from an attacker who seeks to abduct or kill us) somewhere safe and secure from danger. Those of us who’ve lived in safety all our lives can’t really fathom a warning blast and having mere minutes to escape imminent danger. We don’t even have disaster drills in most locations because we’ve never had to have a rapid response plan. Yet the Psalmist, a man not unfamiliar with war, animal attacks, and danger, penned such a wonderful illustration when he wrote:

You who live in the shelter of ‘Elyon,
who spend your nights in the shadow of Shaddai,
who say to Adonai, “My refuge! My fortress!
My God, in whom I trust!” —
he will rescue you from the trap of the hunter
and from the plague of calamities;
he will cover you with his pinions,
and under his wings you will find refuge;
his truth is a shield and protection.

You will not fear the terrors of night
or the arrow that flies by day,
or the plague that roams in the dark,
or the scourge that wreaks havoc at noon.
A thousand may fall at your side,
ten thousand at your right hand;
but it won’t come near you.
Only keep your eyes open,
and you will see how the wicked are punished.

For you have made Adonai, the Most High,
who is my refuge, your dwelling-place.
No disaster will happen to you,
no calamity will come near your tent;
for he will order his angels to care for you
and guard you wherever you go.
They will carry you in their hands,
so that you won’t trip on a stone.
You will tread down lions and snakes,
young lions and serpents you will trample underfoot.
Because he loves me, I will rescue him;
because he knows my name, I will protect him.
He will call on me, and I will answer him.
I will be with him when he is in trouble.
I will extricate him and bring him honor.
I will satisfy him with long life
and show him my salvation.” (Psalm 91, Complete Jewish Translation)

David frequently used verbage that described God’s protective nature, referring to Him in such phrases as “strong tower,” “shelter,” “secret place,” “refuge,” and others. We gloss over these phrases because few of us have ever had to cry out to God from a foxhole with the sound of exploding artillery all around us, or from a sinking ship being inundated with dark water. Our idea of trouble is Him getting us through a rough day at the office, or perhaps help during a financial crisis when we’ve had more month than money. David, Isaiah, and others knew danger when they penned words about Him hiding us in a safe place until calamities be past. I can only imagine the terrifying closeness of death that people feel when a tornado rattles vehemently over the locked doors of the underground shelter, and how glad they must be that they knew in time to run to safety. I feel that in these upcoming days, we will probably get a clearer revelation about what it’s like to be in a protected place while the sounds of disaster shake everything that can be shaken.

We need once in a while to be reawakened, re-sensitized to the fact that we are in the last days. We are about to see hard, sad, terrifying phenomena as the clash between righteousness and unrighteousness creates rumblings in the earth. Whether it would mean literal physical danger from war, or natural disasters, or famine and pestilence, or the intense battle for the souls of humankind, this earth is no longer a neutral ground in good versus evil. We need an established place of refuge in our God–familiar because we have been in His presence already–and know where to run and bring others when the worst day of our lives happens. And we will all have that worst day of our lives. Is He Lord of your life? Are you ready in the event that all hell breaks loose? Is the secret place ready to run to, or have you instead turned it into a junk room where there’s no way you could access it at a moment’s notice?

The interesting thing about museum depictions of the Cold War fallout shelters is that they weren’t just big empty rooms with walls meant to block the direct effects of radiation poisoning. They were ideally equipped with necessities for survival in the event that one might have to remain hidden for a time. Food, water, heat and light sources, etc., were kept stored in these bunkers for use by the hidden ones. I like to think of God’s provision in His Psalm 91 shelter as that way, too: if ever we have to take refuge from terrible life circumstances, He isn’t prepared just to shield us momentarily, but also to sustain us as long as it is necessary. I’ll be honest, I don’t want to think about being in survival mode; I like peace and I like an easy life. I’m glad, however, that my Father sees farther down the road than I do and is leading me to focus on something greater than the lull of my immediate comfort.

We don’t know, as these last days’ cataclysmic events unfold, what our previously free-and-easy lives might encounter. Food and supply shortages, infringements upon our civil liberties and religious freedoms, even invasion of a foreign enemy could change life as we know it. Covid-19 could just be the first of who knows how many more pandemic pestilences that invade the nations. Ungodly cultural shifts etch away at both our children’s and our own sense of right and wrong. We feel the pressure to conform even though we know we must be instead transformed by the renewing of our minds (just so we can continue to discern what’s good and acceptable to God!). If we have been lax in nurturing our relationship with the Father, now it is high time to shake off the complacency and begin familiarizing ourselves with His place of safety. We are going to need it even if we don’t fully comprehend what dangers lie ahead.

The good news is, He’s already got a special fallout shelter ready for those who will make Him Lord of their lives. God’s will is not for any to perish, but for all to come to repentance…which simply means, to do a “180” of heart and mind! When our hearts and minds change, our lives and actions will follow. You don’t have to be left defenseless from the attack of the enemy, because our Lord has already made a way. If the appeal of a cozy secret hideaway where you and God can meet in the cool of the day doesn’t draw you to the place David described in Psalm 91, then consider the non-optional fallout shelter of Psalm 91: for it’s not a matter of IF, but WHEN you’re going to need to be shielded from calamity as sin and iniquity continue to open the floodgates of demonic attack. You’ll not survive the storm about to engulf humanity if you don’t have a relationship with God.

Father, I pray that all of us will discern the times in which we are living, and that none will remain out from under Your protection. Convict hearts, O Holy Spirit, that we who are fickle might run without delay through the door Christ opened for us by His life’s sacrifice. We accept the risen Savior today and we ask You to not only save us, but to keep us, body, soul, and spirit. Teach us to cherish the place You have carved out for our preservation. Teach us to value holy living as well as listening for Your guidance. You will reveal pathways for our good and not for our destruction, through Your Word and through Your messengers. May the lives we live post directions to YOUR fallout shelter so that we might preserve many. In Yeshua’s name we pray, Amen.

The Fine Print

“When someone is tempted, he should not say, “I am being tempted by God,” because God cannot be tempted by evil, nor does he tempt anyone. Instead, each person is tempted by his own desire, being lured and trapped by it. When that desire becomes pregnant, it gives birth to sin; and when that sin grows up, it gives birth to death.” James 1:13-15 ISV

Ever hear the acronym “EULA?” If you’ve ever downloaded a software app or a game, you’ve no doubt met Eula even if you didn’t take time to know her. She’s the lady who makes you so impatient that you check the box without reading it just to get what you wanted. When you actually DO click the link to read the “end user license agreement,” it’s frustratingly long and complicated and full of legal yadayadayada, so you scroll past and select the box to accept the terms of the contract, get your product, and hope like crazy that you didn’t just pledge your firstborn. It doesn’t matter anyway…right?

I’ve done it many times and probably so have you. We have that inherent trust that surely, it’s just a required disclaimer and nothing more—a means to an end. Surely the licensor would not mean the licensee any harm. We just want what we want; then to our surprise, we start getting a mysterious recurring bill for $14.95 on our credit card. When we trace it back, our epiphany moment reveals that yes, it did turn out to cost us more than we bargained for. Oh, most of those checkboxes probably are harmless; but there’s a reason the terms are so long and cumbersome…they’re intended to frustrate you into agreeing without reading the fine print.

The devil is in the details of real life, too, and not just metaphorically. His end goal is to take you farther than you ever intended to go. Eula’s real name is ELLA—the End Loser License Agreement (no offense to ladies whose names happen to be Eula or Ella, btw). Surely the forbidden fruit is good for food; and then your eyes are opened and you find you’re not liking what you see.

Many times we blame God when our life choices go wrong. He allows us to choose for ourselves despite His warnings not to choose a certain way; and then when we override Him and it goes south, we angrily accuse Him of being an unreasonable tyrant. He should’ve made it so that there were no hidden surprises, no consequences, right? Actually, He warns us in clear language not to do certain things. Sometimes He’s been screaming in our conscience so long that we don’t even hear Him anymore. What we view as punishment from God is just the fine print of the devil’s crafty license agreement to do what God tries to warn us not to do.

Lord, You are not a deceiver. Your Word doesn’t trick us into hasty decisions and moral upsets. It’s very much to the point. If something is going to harm us, You say, “Don’t.” If something will bless us, You say, “Do.” You created clear boundaries for our safety, but You gave us free will. You don’t want us to choose what You cannot bless; You want us to choose life.

It’s only within Your boundaries that Your rules are in force. When we override Your written Word and even Your laws written in our hearts—our conscience—we begin to deal with another licensor. His product has no clear guaranteed end result. It can lead us down a thousand “additional in-app purchases available” paths before the end result emerges as death. Oh, it may not be literal death at first, but a thousand tiny cuts. Death of healthy relationships, death of a marriage, death of our health, death of our integrity, death of critical opportunities, death of time.

You came that we might have abundant life and You gave Yourself to give us eternal life. And though our salvation rests in what You did alone, we still must receive Your sacrifice. We still need to operate within Your boundaries in order to ensure an outcome You prescribe.

Thank You for grace and for mercy. You can set us back on the right path if we confess and repent for our sins (our deliberate overriding of what You have warned us and outright commanded us not to do). Sometimes You lessen the severity of the consequences even as You forgive us, but our bad choices will still have altered our lives in ways that won’t change. We may leave here prematurely or damage others’ lives for our hasty rush to accept the terms of the other licensor. Whatever’s in his terms of agreement, the devil cannot fulfill a promise of no consequences for departing from Your will.

Create in us a clean heart, one that responds again to Your guidance and isn’t seared with a hot iron. Give us a hunger for Your presence and a desire to consult You for the choices we make, before we make them. Right choices don’t totally exempt us from opposition or hardship—sometimes we will suffer for doing right—but You will ultimately work all things for our good and will bless us for following Your lead. You can even bring about good things in spite of the consequences of our poor choices and sins.

We love You and we ask You to help us love You more. We will strive to make choices within the framework of Your Word and our conscience today, so that we don’t grieve Your Holy Spirit. Grant us mercy and grace to recover from the outcome of our sins. Teach us to judge ourselves, to pray, to turn from a pattern of repeated wrongs. Help us to do the work of killing the roots of strongholds that promise to keep reproducing cursed results. Forgive us and shape us in ways that please You, for You paid a terrible price to redeem us, we ask in Jesus’ name.

The Suspense is Killing Your Communication!

“The right word spoken at the right time is as beautiful as gold apples in a silver bowl. The warning of a wise person is valuable to someone who will listen. It is worth as much as gold earrings or fine gold jewelry. A trustworthy messenger refreshes those who send him. He is like the coolness of snow in the summertime.” Proverbs 25:11-13 (International Children’s Bible)

How important is it that we learn to communicate with consideration for the other person? Very! My posts usually deal with spirituality, but this one is probably as much a matter of practicality.

Communication tip of the day, especially in this technological world of email, voicemail, and texting!

When you need to get an important point or message across to someone with whom you’re not making eye contact, just come right out and say the thing without, as my Granny would describe it, “hem-hawing around;” but use some common sense and put yourself on the other side of the conversation maybe even before you start. Ask yourself, “What would I be thinking if someone else sent/left me this same message?” Are you open with people from the very beginning, or do you make them labor to get to the bottom of why you contacted them in the first place? We don’t usually talk about it, but the truth is, most of us hate to deal with people who do us this way. Don’t be that person!

It’ll drive the people in your life crazy if you keep them in suspense, and if every message is open-ended and sounds like potential gloom and doom. Those abrupt “we need to talk” texts, or messages where your voice always sounds like “a dying calf in a hailstorm,” followed by crickets until they respond to get the rest of the story, already sound as if you’re gonna drop an unpleasant bomb on the recipients. It may send folks who have anxiety or depression issues into a tailspin. They will likely have to build up the nerve to respond because they are expecting the absolute worst! And if every single time you message people, it’s stamped “urgent,” they may come to dread hearing from you at all (or at the very least, stop taking you seriously).

The sky isn’t always falling, for heaven’s sake. Don’t make every communication sound dire and hopeless in the subject line.

Do you know how your own imagination runs away with you when you don’t have all the facts? Well, other people feel that same way! No one likes to feel as if he/she is about to be chewed out, or about to get lured into a drama crossfire; and no one wants to sit and stew and worry and wonder what’s wrong this time. To use that kind of manipulation to try and coerce people to respond faster may backfire, and you can be certain they won’t be eager to talk to you if and when they do finally respond.

Even if it’s very important, even if it is serious, even if it’s something you know others aren’t going to want to deal with, transparency is always the best route to take. We get enough misleading headlines and emotionally-jarring clickbait in the media…let’s not be sources of it! Keep it relatively short and sweet, but lay the information out in advance so that when people get back to you, they’re emotionally and maybe even situationally prepared. Sometimes the information you seek, or the favor you’re about to ask, or the emotional support you need is best gotten when folks don’t feel pressured, guilted, or put on the spot.

Relationships are a lot less complicated when we can communicate with consideration at least most of the time. Make sure that most of your dealings with those around you are positive and encouraging so that when the subject occasionally isn’t a pleasant one, they aren’t already trying to squirm away from you!

One final thought. If you’re the recipient of a message and the other person knows the message has been seen or heard (as most social media does show when something’s been opened or read), acknowledge it. A simple, “I don’t have an answer for you just now, but I want to acknowledge that I’ve received your message, I’m aware of the situation, and I will get back to you later (maybe even estimate a time) when I can help you.” And if the answer is a “no,” say no! Don’t just string people along or leave them hanging if an issue is time-sensitive! Silence is often perceived by the other person as, “I don’t place a value on you or your time.”

Do unto others as you’d have them do unto you. Be someone who refreshes instead of exhausts!