I was surprised to log in this morning and find just how long it’s been since last I got on my blog and shared from the heart. It’s been a different season for me, especially this summer to the present. Health challenges and just an overall shift in stamina, ambition, and focus have made me a little like an empty-nester parent who suddenly finds oneself without the familiar routine. The writing has dried up. The music has somewhat dried up as another generation rises (as it should) to assume their place in the big picture, and the reflection in the mirror continues to evolve (or devolve?!!). No long motorcycle rides with Dana. The demand for my talents has faded and my role is more utilitarian. At first it alarmed me, then it depressed me; and then I found myself caring less and less about the shift. Honestly, the relaxed pace feels good…and I find myself longing all day for pajama time, herb tea, and a good audiobook. Whether that’s a virtue or a flaw, I guess time will tell. Still, at times, I find myself longing to have some substance of value to pour out. I’m not willing to go plumb to seed just yet.
Meetings.
Those of us especially who have jobs live by a clock and a calendar, but we all are familiar with the necessity of blocking off partitions of time for not just the pleasant, but also the unpleasant. They might be appointments, they might be to-do list items, regimens, assignments, responsibilities, but they require us to shift focus temporarily when engaging that particular one (and is it just me or does the ability to multitask decrease as we “mature?!! Sheesh!). We can’t cancel or cherrypick all our meetings, but how we give attention to each is important. The lunch with a friend is a lot more fun than the meeting with the laundry basket, but we need both!
So there have been more meetings the past several months that I’d rather not need. My spinal health has sent me to diagnostic tests, various doctor appointments, some physical therapy, and a great fondness for a TENS unit. It also has caused my sleep time to be greatly altered. Waking up by 2:30 or 3:00am more often than not is getting a little old, but I’ve adapted while I pray and believe for healing. Sometimes I eventually go back to sleep, but I’ve arrived at peace with not being able to. What I pray that I don’t do is unconsciously become “that person” who continually complains and go into great detail every time I have a listening ear, who seeks out other people who also love to talk about the trials of life. My goodness, it could be worse! There are people whose chronic pain is excruciating, while mine is just strong enough to be greatly annoying. It doesn’t get to be put on a pedestal and worshiped, or talked about like a familiar friend. It doesn’t get to have my joy.
So can anything good come out of this? It has! Not the meetings that have a deductible and copay, but the ones that bring some joy. This summer, I have made all kinds of fauna friends. Seriously, I am Carol Burnett’s character in the park that beckons, “Here pidgy pidgy.” Ok, that’s extreme; I don’t wear my stockings rolled at the calves. How about Snow White instead? No kidding, I am feeding three deer, three raccoons according to my security cam, a whole family of mourning doves, about six box turtles, a chipmunk, a possum, numerous rabbits, countless birds, and though the squirrels have for the moment abandoned me, I figure I’ll see them again whenever they get finished putting up nuts for the winter. In a different season, I wouldn’t have even noticed them; now I look forward to their daily show-ups.
My meeting time with the Lord, best of all, is expanded with this early watch. It isn’t extra reading, extra targeted prayer, extra disciplines, but it has been more of an ongoing “hanging out,” where sometimes we talk and sometimes I just know that we are in one another’s company. He is getting me through the other meetings that I would rather reschedule, and providing comfort that actually keeps me from complaining! How’s that?! Until He eliminates what I don’t want, He comes between it and me with a Holy Spirit oil-and-wine that makes it bearable. He saw this season coming for me and He helped clear out a few things which would have made too much, well, too much. Right now I don’t need to be much in demand. And when this season has passed, maybe He will resume some of the other things. Or maybe, He will just do a new thing in me altogether. Either way, I don’t need to fret, fear, bellyache, or regret. As Corrie Ten Boom once penned, “Don’t wrestle; nestle.”
Sorry to leave you with nothing profound, but I did need to check in and at least justify the annual cost of keeping this blog site up and running! Let’s just see if this ice breaker draws me back in.
CALL THOSE THINGS 